Just a few thoughts...

I feel like i got something to write but then not sure what i want to write.

now just staring at the new post........
well... so i just random throw in what i think lah... since i am already in here

i very miss my Leng Zai again...
i dream that my mom brought home another cat just like him but only chubbier.. hmmm...
maybe he's trying to tell me that i can bring home another cat and he is okay with it??
dunno ah... i don't think my mom will want another cat for now... unless find one exactly like him??? maybe can??? hmmm...

i FUCKING hate the KTM... wtf..
sorry for the vulgar language.. just remember that i really fucking hate it~
i think many will know why... train spoiled and this n that etc.. wtf lah...

i am currently in love with the new song from Lady Gaga- Bad Romance. oh ya and Lady Gaga ft Beyonce- Telephone is also a nice song... love that too. must listen!!

i feel like i am not sure with myself when before this i thought i was very sure of myself....
ok.. sounds confusing...nvm... skip this. next!

i wanna kick off that stupid extra 2 kg that i gained in 2 weeks.... ahhh!!!!!!!!! so unfair..... ish....
i feel my pants tigther.. OMG!! shit..............................

i fucking hate that bitch!!
so damn fucking cheap lah u!! fuck u fuck u fuck u!!
how dare u...thought i don't exist ah.. no respect at all.. fucking cheap crazy bitch!!!
too bad you wont ever know about this post.. would like you to know i really think u r a worthless cheap bitch!!
again sorry for the vulgar language. something came up while i was typing this post. just add in.
i feel a bit better tough after letting it out.

i feel like having ice creams and donuts or sweet sweet stuff... but.... wuwu... can't ah.. have to control... that 2 kg ah 2 kg ah! = (

I am very bored lah..... feel like going out but then lazy.... i think that's why end up posting this... haiz...
Ok enough di...
n ya...just one more thought... I miss u alot my darling.. muackz.. i love you so much oh =)

The Night

28th Nov 09
Weepie~~~

"Tonight is my first time!"
this words came out from my dear Tiff Mama...
yes... It's her first time clubbing!! haha
so happy we get to hang together =)

Behold the Before and After
1st time wear like this, 1st time make up like this.

my clothes+my make up = now this is 1 Sexy Mama!! wakaka...

Frenz. Don't be too surprise or open your mouth so big even the flies can fly in.
It's time for changes now and then...hehe

Our daughter & mother portrait. nice~

Peace to the camera

While waiting for the monkeys to finish work, we try to kill the boredom by singing k at their little pub

Yeah~~~
The party has just begun at The Sanctuary....

Me with Joey and Nick

and of course not forgetting my dearest baby, Fynz.

seeeee.... i never forget u 1 lah...

yeah yeah! Us again...

see Baby's face... so happy got 2 'leng lui' by her side... hahaha

muackz^^

mmmmuackzzzz.........

Ok people... don't get jealous ;p wakaka

Shows how much we adore each other. heee.....

Joey don't worry... you get a kiss too. hehe

I loooove this picture a lot... too bad the bag is a bit of distraction
but it's ok.. I'm still lovin it =)

Pieces of Me

We were always told to never play with fire...

but if didn't feel the pain
how do we know to avoid it the next time...

something that i've heard before
but find the experience hard to face

my head is going round and round
my heart feels the bitter from circulation to circulation...

water flows and dripping down
every shed is full of sorrow and pain...

two streets that lies in the middle
but dunno which road is the one to take...

which is wrong which is right
either way does not seem to be one that can satisfy...

although it may seem like a dead end
but may be there's still an alternative...

let time take it's course
the broken pieces can still be healed...

the rock that carry on my back may be a burden
but when the right time comes hopefully it will be my stepping stone and bridge to cross the little stream of water that i face...

support is all i need...

Friday Evening~

13th Nov 09

3 things you need to end the weekdays and welcoming the weekends...

1. Good Music
2. Good Beer

3. Good Company as well as Great Friends =)

Have a good weekend everyone~

Cheers!

S.H.E "Cacat" Version + DESSERTS!!!!!

11/11/09

What a night~~~

Darlings and I had Taiwan Desserts at Snowflake in Subang Jaya....

This thing vibrates and beeps and flash once our desserts are ready...

very "sam pat" reaction... like jakuns... never see UFO b4 ah??? duhhh.... haha

ding ding ding

our yummy yummy desserts=)

greedy me... taking all the desserts... hahah

self claimed S.H.E Malaysian Version.... haha...

the for cam whore session!!!

the one reaction we failed terribly... proves we not meant be sexy... haha

see the fella behind us?? even he is laughing at us... haha

i had so so much fun darlings~~~~ lets do it again!!! haha

wait for next outing with u all.. muackz^^

I Still

My baby lengzai.......
hw r u oh??
din come visit me in my dreams?
haiz.. very silly of me to think like this...
but i still really really miss u oh....
although i'm ok di...

but sumtimes my heart still aches when i think of you...
i see any cat on the street i think of u...
u know ma??
very silly oh...

i still look at pictures of u..
although looking at them even cause me to miss u more
and cause my heart aches
but i cant help myself
you were the cutest thing ever
u were my beloved baby..

i wish to hug u so much...
i start to get used to not having you around
but i still feel that there's something missing....
i love you my beloved baby...

High School Darlings~~~

Latest & delayed post...
Been meeting up with high school buddies and is a real pleasure hanging out together.. Memories of old times reappear again... hehe
cheers me up a lot..

Watch Jennifer's Body at 1U with Christine and Samantha...
Megan Fox is so damn freaking HOT!!! bring the fire extinguisher...
I think the Cinema is going to burn up... haha

OKOK.. a little too dramatic... Halloween!! remind me of last years PR event... went through hell to finish the deco...

A little"yam cha" time in Wing's Cafe at Kepong...

Siow Wei, Yee Min, Bee Hui & Samantha..
Me & Christine

Dinner & shopping at The Curve with Wan Kuan and IzzatiHaving a mini photo session...

My beloved Mama's birthday dinner at Sri Damansara Club

Happy Birthday Mama!!!!
I lovey lovey you so much~~~
muackz~~~~
Cymon, Me & Tiffany...

Angel was at the dinner too.. long time no see^^

Our shopping day at Times square & Sg Wang thats all for now...
tommorow is a brand new day~~~
a new step in life...

My baby leng zai
mummy miss miss miss u a lot oh..
but dun woli..
i'm ok..
just very very miss seeing u..
i love you my baby..

Missing you badly

My baby...
how are u doing?
mommy miss u a lot...
especially at night

i'm doing fine recently..
life still goes on as always
but when it comes to nite..
i've been missing you badly..
i've been having trouble sleeping..
i cant sleep at night...

every time i open the door..
how i wish i can see you
i come out of my room.. my heart is looking for u..

i can still picture u lying on the sofa..
sometimes at night i cant sleep
i will come out and hug u..
disturb u when u sleep..
sayang u..
talk to u...

but now every nite when i come out.. i cant see u at all..
i miss ur soft fur...
i miss ur chubby fat face..
miss ur meow meow voice..
miss u cute sleeping face..

i reli wish when i come out of my room i can see u again..
how i wish to hug u so much~~
come visit me in my dreams will u?

i reli miss u..

Rest In Peace My Baby

Depart 11:30 am, 25 Oct 09.

My baby... you stay in your dream di...
Sleep well my baby...

Buried at Bukit Lagong

Hope u like it here.. Don't worry.. we are not far.. we're just near youThe air here is fresh and is a really peaceful here... full of grassthere's a stream from the waterfalls and a lot of insects that u can chase...

rest in peace my baby... i will be ok.. i just need time...

Thanks Fynz, Nic & Mico for helping and accompanying me.. I appreciate it a lot..

Dedicate to you.. my baby.. Lee Leng Zai

when you were just arrive to my house... u were ledi a sleepy pig..

even while standing you could fall a sleep..

the firs time i saw you i just love everything about u.. u were so cute~~

you always look so cute when you sleep.. i just love to look at you when you sleep

The last picture I took of u... 2 days b4 u left me... i know u like to sleep under my bed.. i know you wanna sleep there one last time..

My baby...
i miss everything about you...
i miss hearing u calling me to feed me...
i miss playing catch with you
i miss hugging you...
i miss your cute eyes staring at me...

my baby...
i hope you have a sweet dream
i hope you remember me...

i really miss you so so much..
i nearly wanted to call ur name this morning when i woke up...

my baby
know that i wont forget u
be good ok...

i love you so much...

Fading away...

i can see you are fading away...
i know you are suffering...
you look so weak
my heart really aches seeing you like this

the whole family loves you so much
we want to put you to sleep
and end your suffer
but can't bring ourselves to do it
i'm so sorry my baby...

you kept going to your every favorite area in the house
i can see you trying to rest at every area b4 you go

today you went under my bed...
i know you like to hide there
and then you went under my table
you always like sleep dere
and accompany me while i online

my baby..
i really don't know what to do...
i want you to open your eyes
look at me one last time
but you can't
all the while you can only look down

i lie near to you
only looking at you
and told you many things
wonder did you hear me..
wonder did you understand wat i said..

my baby.. are you hanging on??
or do you want to leave??
i let you go okay...
you don't have to stay...
since we cant bring ourselves to put u to sleep
so i let you go rest ok??
my baby you can go...
i allow you to go
i don't want see you suffer anymore...
i feel so cruel if i don't let you go...
you can have a good sleep and have sweet dreams
you can stay in your dream

dream of me will you??
dream of us
dream of how we pamper you..
how much we loved you..
stay in you sweet dream

you brought so much joy to the family
you are always part of the family
don't ever forget even if you go...
don't you dare forget...

my baby.. just remember mommy love you ok?
no one can replace you in my heart.. you are one of a kind
my baby sleep well ok..

I'm suffering to see you like this

My baby
you know how suffer i feel ma?
you know how heart broken am i?
but i know you are suffering too
i'm so sorry...
every time i see you the only thing i can do is cry...
less than a week you will leave me...
why?? just 1 and a half years old..
you r stil so young..
you willing to leave me??
you know how sad mommy feel ma?
you know how pain my heart feel?
you know how much i love you ?
each tears that comes out is for you..
pain n sadness

baby please stay strong for the last few days...
mommy not ready to say goodbye
i'm not ready to let go yet...
please stay strong
please let me pamper you before you go...
please let me play a game of catch wit you..

my baby.. please help me stay strong...
mommy don't want to cry so much di
but i cant control
i love you too much...

it's so hard to face the fact that you are leaving..
it's too cruel
baby...please don't leave me

Random Me

Looking PINK!!

What's up with me and pink recently??
I dunno... somehow i feel pink totally match me.. hehe

You think you know me...

but you don't

cause i don't even know myself

never taught i would think like this

but i did

surprise surprise...

admitting i do have sinful thoughts in me

so that leaves to...

no conclusion

what will happen nxt??

can't even imagine my nxt move

like i said... i don't even know myself..
lets just see what happens

yes.. a very emo- ish picture of me
edited it just to suit this post
ya.. silly to do so.. but what the heck...
just post la..

My 20th Birthday

26th Sep 09

Sing K at Brem Mall

Birthday kiss from my baby~ thx^^

aiya.. again.. last year also have to do this

sing sing all the way...

glow in the dark lolipop~~

27th Sept 09

Desa Park City

my darling's turn give me birthday kiss... hehe

28th Sept 09

Genting Highland

My good old friend Simon purposely came up to Genting to wish me a Happy Birthday..haha
no la.. coincidence when he wish me Happy Birthday he was also coming to Genting

it was nice to see you again for such along time =)

29th Sept 09

Bukit Tinggi

Japanese Village

Thank you for the wonderful birthday ^^

A sudden feel

a feeling of emo coming to me again
i haven had this feeling for a long time
recently i'm feeling quite happy n blissful..
enjoying my life
but somehow now.. i feel there's something missing
something that is suppose to be inside of me
but it's not
or maybe is it something that i longing for
that i can seem to reach out to it
which makes me feel that there is still an empty space beneath me
ya...
sounds silly but true...
that's what i am feeling for the whole day..
weird...

Outing

Went to watch movie at Cinelesuire with high school darlings^^

oh ya... we also went shopping at The Curve and took some pictures.

Say peace to the camera

Me & Ching Ching... she have to go go early... T.T

Continue take picture =)

Hari Raya Decoration

wow.. i long din take picture in toilet.. haha.. can add this to my collection..

After shopping we went for desserts~~~ every girls fav^^

Dessert with my name on it... hehe

that's all for today...

My Sweet Family^^

I had my dinner here with my sweet family.. heheMe and My Mama

Me and Papa

yes.. i know.. my papa n mama look so so young.. hehe

there are my sweetest family members... love you both^^

after pizza we had snowy ice~~ my fav^^

both of you always put a smile on my face.. heart you both...

Out and About

Date: 13th Sept 09

Location: Desa Park City

Model wannabes... haha

My baby and dearest friend~



pose 1~

2~~

3~~~

ok... tired di.. lets just sit and pose together again ^^

Relaxing Independence Day

Last year went for countdown so this year just a simple walk at Desa City Park...
with H1N1 on the loose... is better to just relax at a pond.. hehe
i have my fair share of getting sprayed with colorful strings and an hour of shower just to clean my hair =,=""

Went there with my beloved Tiff Mama, Cymon Papa and darling Mico...
just the 4 of us hanging and relaxing =)

Mama crazy di~~~ and Papa is laughing at her..

night mode is always shaky and hard to capture

I love you both so much~~~
you're like a family to me =)

After that we headed to Kepong yamcha meet up with Jeng and her Kedah frenz... hehe
"chui sui" all nite... haha...
but I had a great time =D

Ladies Night at Barcelona

27.08.09

I'm ready!!

::Frenz from Kedah::

One of my good buddies from college^^

Modeling

Such a dainty cat~

why the grumpy face??

so natural with your pose you can be the next top model and go for catwalks^^

Night Out~

6 Aug 09

Ladies Night@Euphoria (MOS)

Ready to go~~

Ai Vern: peace to the camera^^

Me and my darling =)
The 3 Stooges.. hehe. Mico, Jeng and Ai Vern

dua blur blur manusia
Aiyo... So lovable???

Jeng and me.. open eyes big big...

I had a wonderful night out~

A day out with my loving buddies^^

24th July 09

This 2 sweethearts were made for each other.... hehe

Depressed Lesbian!

I stole this from Facebook...haha

I'm glad we get to hang out!! it's been long since we "lepak" together =)

We had our lunch @ Taste of India in PJ

wow... we ordered too much.. cant finish everything

Earlier we drop by De Pastry Chef to get some desserts!!

Chocolate Moose Cake~~

Mini Pastry Tarts! woo~~~ so delicious and tempting^^Yo...!! don't be greedy... we want some too!!! hee...

After lunch we headed to Tropicana City to have some "exercise" in the Arcade.
SERIOUS!! we actually sweat by playing games... haha...
It was really good exercise~~~

Li Wern was so good at this game.. she kept scoring... nothing can stop her.... she was like a machine man!!!

I had so much fun~~~ it's been long time since I've been in the arcade... hehe

Our signature love...I give u all my lesbian love~~~ I Heart You^^

--- So Cute ---

so tired and thirsty from playing games we went to the super market to get some drinks...

ish.... I'm the odd one!!!

For dinner we headed to Murni at SS2~

Ya...I know it's kinda weird but the things we had was a bit similar with our lunch...

My tummy is so damn stuff and full.. ate so much...
and I had tons of fun today
Really miss "lepaking" like we used to during college times...
I'm really glad we get to do it again... hehe

Thanks for the wonderful day~~
Love you both so much^^

Happy Birthday Fynz~

11th July 09

Happy 21st Birthday My Dearest Friend & Baby!!
Wishing you all the best in life with your new age~
I know you appreciate every moment of life...

& I hope you enjoy every moment of it too!

***hugs and kisses***

Happy Birthday to My "Lesbian" Buddy ~

22nd June

We had a surprise birthday dinner at Seoul Garden for Li Wern
Happy to see us?? hehe...

I heart you ^^
you'll always be my favorite "lesbian" buddy~ haha

7 different cakes from Secret Recipe~

Li.. I bet you had a sugar rush after finishing 12 tarts.. haha

models for Secret Recipe's Cakes
wakaka

Promises are meant to be broken

haiz...

is tired and fed up sometimes....

i just don't want to keep it in heart

i already repeated myself

but it still keeps on breaking

i care that's why i only kept on going

mayb is better i didn't care

and mayb is even better that i don't trust what i hear

mayb then... it's not so disappointing

My Fat Fat Baby~

oh my gosh.... my baby is getting bigger and fatter...
how much more can you grow???

sleeping like a pig... you just love to sleep on my bed when I am not around
awww..... why are you giving me that cute face??? I already feed you...

I love you so much~~~

you're such a lucky cat...

Intern's View

Here are my intern photos^^
2 months plus interning in a production house
what an experience..

let the photos do the talking...hehe





The 1st batch of interns I work with...




...and this is the 2nd batch of interns i work with~

she look familiar??? It's my beloved mama!!! hehe
what a coincidence... we intern in the same company... but i'm her senior di... haha












Wohoo!!!
I completed my internship~
I learned so much and really enjoy myself

I'm going to graduate soon^^

the next step in my life??
well... still awaits me to find out....

Our Little Gathering~

Saturday, 6/6/09.
6.30pm SHARP!!

but.... mostly everyone was late
including me.... hehehehehe

5A1 2006 SMK St. Mary Gathering~

just a simple gathering at Yee Min's hse...
although not the entire class attended
but it was still a pleasure meeting old pals again...
it's been 2 years...we can say that this gathering was a success
i really miss the times...we had our flashbacks about our schooling time...
we even try to figure out in last time in class who sit where and who sitting next to whothe one with ticks is the the ones who attend =)

After that we had dinner at Le Classics Cafe...

Thanks for making this gathering a success and miss will miss you all much
Hope in the future we still have the chance for another gathering^^

Just me...

hi hi...

i know i am always missing lately...
still doing my intern a bit busy and lazy....>,<
but once i finish my intern i will upload tons of photos
so still must rmbr me k.... hehe


just sudden a bit emo so come in here to blog

i just feel tired that sometime i cant be focus in my thinking..
sometimes i just feel very blur n numb...
i can't seem to bring out what i want to say
what i am feeling
and sometime don't have the energy to care enough for a person
or maybe some times i don't have the courage to show it all

if an umbrella was never invented
maybe i will be brave enough to stand in rain

if all shades and trees are gone
maybe i will be brave enough to stand in the sun