Touch of Me

hello and goodbye~

2011-10-11T00:08:00.006+08:00

hello hello ppl n bloggers!

yes... i've been missing lately

reason?

besides my laptop "kong"

another reason is i'm LAZY to blog! haha

cz apa u mahu tahu at FB pun boleh nampak

so y double the trouble rite?

but anyhow we also need some space to express

that would be the reason y i am bck here......

cz im lost again (as usual)

there will be new challenges for me in life

on my roads that i take

decisions that i make

and mistakes that i will learn

things may seem so simply for me

but its never easy at all

i really dont know wat my future lies ahead of me

its scary for me to even imagine it

so i just wake up and think of today like there is no tomorrow

and just hope one day the answer that im looking for may just appear in front of me

that's it for tonight

i think for a long period i will be missing from here again

so wish u bloggers out there good nite and good bye~

MSK vs KK

2011-07-31T03:27:00.005+08:00

ding ding ding ding

Which look suits me better?

Personally I love both

its hard to decide

so conclusion is.....

KK works during the day while MSK comes out to play at nite. hehehe

Can I be your Barbie Girl

2011-07-25T23:23:00.006+08:00

My New Hair^^

golden brown =)

never had this long hair b4. hehe

i wanna be perfect just like a dolly

muackz. kisses just for you~

long lashes. me like~~~

meow meow

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in car on the way to Genting for some cold air

with my fei zai ;)

Genting not that cold.. drastic change of weather i guess.

i was there till midnight and there's not even a single cloud or mist ==

My Addiction

2011-07-07T14:34:00.004+08:00

♥ Snogurt ♥

yummy~

Stuck

2011-07-01T16:46:00.003+08:00

mixed emotions, mixed feelings and mix thoughts

here i go again...

if only life was much simpler

if only i could think less

i know problem is me

making things complicated

but I cant help it

not everything can be controlled

there must be a way out of this

but i don't know how

sooner or later there will be a solution

i know it

but just depend when....

i see light ^^

2011-06-25T08:06:00.002+08:00

yes yes yes.. its over~

i finish the last treatment and went through all suffering!

i just need to rest 2 months and i will be back on track =)

its been a tired journey but everything have pass

now i'm looking forward

i see the light again. haha

after all this i will enjoy my life =)

gosh i miss so so so many things~

feel like so many things i wanna do

but now i will be a good girl and let my body recover

once im done........ hehehehehe..........

get redi go give me a warm welcome

cause KiMi Lee is back!

can't wait =)

I am here

2011-06-01T01:27:00.003+08:00

2nd treatment is over. thank god not so suffer like 1st time

but then i still have long term nausea n dizziness

plus whole body aching like a grandma. serious

my bones feel like they are gonna break

one more treatment to go.. wonder whats next. bring it on la.. i just wanna get it over fast

now i just wish the nausea go away soon.. very uncomfortable at times

but able to on9 d consider good enough

keep telling myself soon its gonna be all over

and i can get my life back on track

but the journey i still feel very long way to go

and still tired

again all i can do is hope and pray

good night

Shorty...

2011-05-23T20:49:00.010+08:00

Just a random post...

does short hair really suit me better?

a lot people mention i look better with short hair

but then i miss my long hair >,<

you be the judge............................

can you tell which one is a wig?

well, quite obvious right.....haha

yesterday i made a brave move...

i totally shaved all my hair away

yes under tat wig is my botak head..

everyday dropping more & more hair.

cant be save d...

so i bought a wig n shaved my hair =(

still cant accept my botak head but what to do..

expected this day will come

anyway, 2nd treatment is just few days away..

*prays hard** hope wont so suffer like the 1st time.. plz plz plz...

may i drop some tears away

2011-05-14T22:18:00.004+08:00

had nothing to do so i read back some of my previous post...

about the pass 2 operations i had

i mentioned i never wanted to go through all those again and never want to stay or over night in the hosp bla bla bla...

but yet recently the hosp is like my 2nd home

i've been frequently facing the hosp building and wads now

ppl tell me this is the last.. well i thought the previous was last...

i'm not trying to be negative but its been bothering me whole day

i cant run away from it

im so tired of all this.... i'm worried about the nxt treatment

i really dont wont to suffer like this anymore

although this time is not an operation but the treatment n process is mentally torturing and suffering i really want to go crazy...

its over yes it pass but because i know how suffer it is im really dreading n worry the nxt treatment....

i know ppl tell me 2nd time wont be worse but we'll never knw.. everybody's body is diff

i have no control of what is gonna happen to my body next

i'm reli scared

maybe im thinking too much cause im stuck at home

but i cant help it now...

jz want to cry out

i know everyone is supporting me and i need to stay strong

but i do feel lost and lonely at times

no one will truly understand how i feel

cause i cant even describe out

all i want to do now is cry

i know is weak but just let me be this weak once...

i dont want to stay tough or strong

i just wanna let myself go and let my tears flow

Tired

2011-05-14T17:42:00.002+08:00

Pass week has been a mental torture

the treatment n process is really hard to go through for me

i feel tired sometimes that i really felt like give up

but i know i cant

but i'm really dreading for the nxt treatment

i reli reli hope is less suffering

very blur lately

i am taking good rest

but again i feel so lost in all this

juz wanna express out

It's Labors Day!!!

2011-05-14T16:49:00.007+08:00

1st May 2011

although is no diff for me..hehe but anyhow...

with high school darlings celebrated Amanda's birthday at Neway 1U =)

Happy Brithday Dear~~~ may all the best wishes be with you =)

sweet hugs^^

someone looks drunk.... haha

glad to hang out with my dears b4 i start my "jail session" ==

One day get away....

2011-05-11T11:08:00.017+08:00

Im back..... too much happen lately thats y been missing..

so here's the Melaka post...

17th April 2010

We had a little fun at Bamboo b4 head to Melaka... hehe

Morning........

snap snap b4 head out =)

in car.....

pass by Mini Malaysia so we decided to drop by there for some photo session

ya.. it looks like the fella behind me is laughing at me

Melaka is so damn hot i dunno wat i do without my umbrella >,<

then as planed head to Jonker Street makan makan n jalan jalan...

yes.. it was so hot we took the entire tissue box out..

i also dunno she wanna touch my head or wat?? @@

acting emo.......

we've got style!! haha

yummmmm.. satay celup~~~

our ugly faces~

last stop at the beach b4 heading home

bubbles....

it was an enjoyable and wonderful get away from everything..

hope for more to come^^

The Life that I Love

2011-04-18T23:03:00.009+08:00

i know i have been notty recently..

but im just enjoying the life i love

i dun know whats gonna happen nxt

but i just know nw i wan to enjoy my life and do what i like

enjoy now worry later.. hehe

~~~Bamboo Night~~~

~~~~Movida Night~~~~

Miss Jamy, me and Miss Jasmin

to both Miss Js, i saw ur blog post n wanna thank you girls for the love and support u give me

i really appreciate it^^

again............ for a certain period i have to say bye bye to night life... aikss

anyhow besides nite life other life i can enjoy too like eating... hee

few days ago i had a a relax and fun one day trip at Melaka with my buddies... will update it soon~

I'm too numb.........

2011-04-13T04:24:00.003+08:00

im so fucking tired n sick of everything

yet i feel so numb

i tink i am too calm that i dont even know how to express myself anymore

i cant scream, i cant cry, i cant show any of my emotions out..

is nt tat i dont want to but i dunno how...

i feel like a robot and i feel my soul has left my body

im so afraid of myself

cause i dont know what am i reli tinking

i tink it hurts too much

its too much pressure and stress for me to handle all this

but yet i tell myself to just suck it up... this is the fucking life u have to go through

so just fucking deal with it

its nt my choice... is just a path i have to go through... but is reli tired to go on and hold on...

i dont know how much longer can i reli go on like this

i just wish there was someway to end my suffer soon

Drowned

2011-04-11T17:11:00.003+08:00

so much happen within this few days is so hard to swallow

feel like been drowned by everything

i keep telling everyone i'm ok, i'll stay strong for it n i do feel stronger

but i cant deny i still feel weak at heart

although there's less tears and i'm facing all this very calm

but then im so lost

lost of directon

lost of heart

lost of myself

just day by day im passing with numbness

i know i should stay positive which i am

but i do feel mentally tired

i just need a break from everything

i need a break for myself

Yipeeeeeeeeeeee

2011-03-31T00:21:00.014+08:00

Hello Night Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know its a little too early for me but I promise no heavy drinking or partying

Its just a little fun and enjoyment

just a little taste of night life

It'a not like going crazy every week party like the pass

just a little guilty pleasure wont hurt^^

24th March 2011

Movida@Sunway Giza Mall

reunite with my honey^^

in da club...

and photo session after club...

yes im still heavy i admit.. can see it n her face but she insist i'm nt =p

this one senang saja la.. no need use energy pun.. haha

we never fail to have kissy pics.. weet weet ;)

Dear + Honey

they want part of the fun too..... so sweet~~~ lol

but one kiss for her nt enaf and aim another victim...

haha.. thi was wht happen b4 the pic above.. tak boleh tahan laughing

and..................................

I won RM500 cash

How? Ladies Night got sexy dance competition. heeee

(although I cant shake much like i used to but I guess I still have it in me *wakaka)

WE ALL LOVE THIS!! so cute^^

us.........

23 March 2011

Sing K @ Neway 1U

its been a long long time i din go for sing k sessions especially at mid nite^^

The Babies~

Baby K, Baby F & Baby A

all I can say is enjoyed every bit of the pass 2 nites

no worries I will still take good care of myself

cause I do admit that im getting old for all this soon. haha =p

Pray....

2011-03-14T17:43:00.003+08:00

as we know about what's going on in Japan so im not gonna share any news here

but i would like to share a song by Justin Bieber, Pray. its nt about the artist... but listen to the lyrics..

when i heard news about Japan i just somehow think of this song

I just can't sleep tonight,
knowing that things ain't right.
It's in the papers, it's on the TV,
it's everywhere that i go.
Children are crying, soldiers are dying,
some people don't have a home.

But i know there's sunshine behind that rain,
I know there's good times behind that pain
Can you tell me how i can make a change?

I close my eyes, and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and pray.
I close my eyes and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and pray.

I lose my appetite, knowing kids starve tonight
Am I a sinner? Cause half my dinner,
Is still there on my plate.
Ooh i got a vision, to make a difference,
and it's starting today.

Cause i know there's sunshine beyond that rain,
I know there's good times beyond that pain
Heaven tell me i can make a change.

I close my eyes, and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and pray.
I close my eyes and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and

I pray for the broken-hearted,
I pray for the life not started.
I pray for all the ones not breathing,
I pray for all the souls that need a break,
Can you give em one today?

I just can't sleep tonight,
Can someone tell me how to make a change?

I close my eyes, and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and pray,
I close my eyes and i can see a better day,
I close my eyes and i pray,
I pray, I pray
I close my eyes and pray.

hmmmmmmm.... just wondering will 2012 reli happen?

if so i reli must enjoy to the fullest. really never know whats gonna happen next

Desserts will always be my fav =)

2011-03-06T23:37:00.008+08:00

5th March 2011

recently i've been craving for desserts more often then usual =)

and Monkey promise to bring me go for desserts once i get better

soooo................ here we go =)

ta da!

shaved ice @ Desa Park City

yum yum =)

me with coffee

monkey with Chocolate

mama with lavender

Samantha with green tea

so satisfy with dessert =)

so then off we go to the pond to feed the fishes and then for a stroll

seriously i never get bored of this place. hehe

i love the view here.

Balloon......

2011-02-18T21:02:00.005+08:00

i feel really numb and tired

my heart feels like being rip off

i feel like letting go

i wanna be like a helium balloon

once let go

it keeps going up n up

seeing new things n new places

viewing things in a different perspective

and once its time to come down

it will reach a whole new destination...

I miss night life so much~~~~

2011-02-10T00:09:00.003+08:00

ok. my blog is full of words again... haha.

well in my condition nw theres nt much pictures i can post but this one.....

the new me after 2 torturing operations

anyhow, i knw my health is so important than anything which i often remind myself and get reminded by but just suddenly wanna express....

I SO FUCKING MISS MY NIGHT LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(

seriously... i miss everything about it

especially club~~~

i miss the alcohols which made me tipsy

i miss awesome loud bass music

i miss the dance floors

i miss dancing on the dance floors!

i miss the excitement and environment in clubs

i also miss "yamcha" till late night with buddies

i miss the energy of chit chattering till 3-4am

i miss how we can sit for hours n hours of chat and never realize how late it was

miss late night movies

miss going out to pubs for drinks and catch up with friends

miss going to pasar malam jalan jalan...

gosh... just miss all of this so much~~~~~~~

Happy CNY and what a BIG surprise!

2011-02-02T23:46:00.003+08:00

Happy CNY!

wishing everyone a happy, healthy and wealthy year ahead^^

as usual im stuck in my room

this year cny feel kinda down..

pretty bored but still when i think about this 2 days quite happy too^^

this afternoon my dear Christine came and we have a little chit chat

then Kai jie n Cool came to visit me too

thank u for the bird nest Cool.. i need it =)

and yesterday night wow..

i got a BIG surprise

Kepong & Cheras one by one pop into my room.. lol

I din even know the came into my hse..

there was knock on my door so i tot it was my mom

but then my baby Fynz came in n said HI~~~

i was surprise enough to see her but then one by one the rest came in

i was even more surprise with a big smile on my face =) lol

my room was full of ppl even no place to sit =p

i was really touched and happy to see all of them again...

some of them so long i din meet since the 1st operation

i miss hanging out with them so much~~~~~

although its just a simple surprise visit

but it was memorable and touching to me..

really bought a smile to my face

and is one surprise i wont forget

thank you so so much Fynz, EY, Ah Yik, Nikki, CiLi, Nixon, Jasmin, Jamy, Mcdull, JengYi~

love u all so so much^^

i will take good care of myself and recover soon so we can hang out again.

miss all of u~ muackzz

gone......

2011-01-30T21:15:00.002+08:00

just cleared my closet... half my clothes are gone..

omg so tired

near to 2 hours to sort out wat to keep and wat not

many dun fit me d...

i need a stylist

i dun know wats my style i dunno wat suits me

i not oni lose weight but i feel like lost my identity

dont knw.. mayb thinking too much or nt used to it..

still cant believe wat i see

i need so much time to re discover myself and my style..

i kinda miss my curves =(

but changes are for the best too..

so again all i need is time

to figure out

"That can't be me"

2011-01-26T15:54:00.003+08:00

Today i took a good look at myself in the mirror

I cant believe what i see

scan myself from up to down and it seems unreal

i went to the weighing machine and got shocked

the 2nd operation i lost 4kg

since the 1st operation i lost 4kg too

but this one was fast

just few days drop like tat..

guess my wish came true but nt in a way i wanted

my reaction should be happy when i saw the numbers

but it actually scared me and i cant believe it..

i look at my hands and look at myself again in the mirror

i feel n look unhealthy

its scary to see the veins on my hands

i feel n look old

seeing myself looking so pale

i cant believe this is wat i see

i dunno what else to say

i just know i have a lot of "work" to do on my body

i need all the vitamins whatever i can get

i know it takes time and don't rush things

so i will.. since i have all the time in the world now till i feel empty at times.....

19th Nov 2010 & 19th Jan 2011

2011-01-23T16:18:00.005+08:00

i definitely wont forget these 2 days...

exactly 2 months had to go through another operation

this time at my stomach area..

doc found a 14x14cm cyst & tumor in it.. but not sure yet what kind of tumor

hopefully *touchwood it's not cancer... but doc say most probably isn't

anyway 2 months later only will know after the lab tests are out

i feel weird that now i only left one side of my ovary

although i can't feel the difference but feels weird each time i think that one side of my ovary is gone.. like took out part of me when there was suppose to be 2

i don't know.. back home now i surely feel better than in the hosp but i cant seem to feel happy

still feel moody and insecure.. it's hard to explain but i just cant put a smile on my face

well i don't think so anybody can after going what i went through

this time it was also very torturing n suffering till a point i feel like dying...

the check ups and the scans and some small mistakes can cause me so much pain

i don't want to describe here cause u might lose ur appetite or its actually hard to explain

but i just know it was crazy...

although this operation is nt as serious as the previous one.. but once ur in the hosp and operation is involved... there's no comparing which is better as i can say both of it is the WOSRT experience in my life..

my mom keeps reminding me that my body is very weak now.. but i also can feel it... i really need take extra good care... i know she really concerns me alot and took care of me.. and im thankful of that

but each time she reminds me of how weak my body is. i kinda get sad too..

i just wish all this din happen to me

its sad that i cant do the things i love and i of course have to quit many things that i enjoyed.

but of course i will choose my health now over anything..

i just wish my body was not weak so i don't have to worry what may happen to me next.

i tink tats wat made me feel insecure

plus my wound now still hurts.. so worry of it.. have to be careful even when i sit n stand up or move... i feel fragile

just pray hard now everything is done and hope i have a healthy body..

i just hope for a stronger body so i dont have to go throught any of this again

no one can imagine the pain i went through..

yes i know its all over

so now i try my best to leave it all behind

just need some time to cool down and cool down my emotions too

for the time being try to get back a care free and relax life

try my best to take good care

God i really praying hard please bless me with a good health...

not my regular day

2011-01-16T15:26:00.003+08:00

here i am blogging again in my bed

guess this the place i feel like turning too right now

well...

still feeling depress and I cant help it

sudden feel of emptiness in me

cant predict whats gonna happen next

just feel fed up and tired

only thing i can do now is wait

don't know what am i doing

i know is no big deal

should stay positive but i'm really tired

even after this is settle whats next?

staring at the fan, celling, furnitures...

and the window... outside there... there's so much more for me to face

can i handle every challenge that comes in my way

i just feel weird now

like something is missing

i tink is me...

i dont know where have i gone too

A price to pay.....

2011-01-15T18:25:00.005+08:00

depress now.........

i might have to check into the hospital again for another surgery =(

alto is minor surgery n I wont be staying long but the previous 8 days i stayed there still terrifies me....

I thought after taking out my thyroid i will slowly be better and my hormones will be better

but now it feels like i got a price to pay

i have a weaker antibody, i get sick easily and my stomach seem to be sensitive if i ate something wrong..

oh god help me... been sick for a week... its like up down up down up down n now is down down down

today went to a clinic for ultrasound

the doc cant really tell wats wrong with my stomach but there's definitely something there at my ovary section and suspect is a Cyst

he say most probably need open a small whole in my stomach put a camera n a tube in to take it out. so told me i need to go hospital to check wat is it..

n off i go back to the shitty hosp... tinkin of going another hosp but my mom says my records are there and my previous operation is there better to go back to the same one. haiz...

but today is the weekends... no doc.. n im nt consider emergency altho been pain for 7 days!

oni bleeding, fainting consider emergency.. so i have to wait till monday to make an appt..

shit!

waiting like this nt reli know wats going on with my body terrifies me.. it feels so torturing.

and having the thought of overnight in the hosp n going through all the fucking pain again kills me...

i already had enough pain n torture reli reli wish i dun need to go through it again...

i reli hope by meds they can help me

i reli dun hope for another surgery even if its minor..

i told myself i dun want let myself enter the wads again. .. haiz =(

i guess this is what people say u cant have it all..

i finally get to remove the lump from my neck.. but other sides effects i get....

really fucking emo n depress now =(

1st post in 2011

2011-01-07T16:32:00.003+08:00

hello there,

been lazy to blog recently so i definitely miss out a few post.
well cant help to feel lazy to blog even when im free.. haha
guess just lazy to type or bored with blogging?

anyhow i'm here and i'm typing
so its new year already..........
and my operations over
so whats my goals? whats my next step?
I get these questions often...
well honestly im still stuck in between...
not everything is up to me to decide
and not everything is in my control
yes it may seem like I'm wasting my time
but I know nothing is my important than getting better
I desperately want to get better
I'm supper bored stuck at home and felt like I lack of goals
I just hope my body be good and recover fast
I hate feeling this weak
I miss the hyper active me and the energy I use to have
please come back

recently i feel lost again
with no proper directions
I know i am suppose to think less and rest more
but i m resting n resting... I'm almost like a pig d... i feel like a pig *oink 0ink
what more can i do?

well i know every thing takes time. so i must be patient like a good "patient"........
it's just tat i wish not to waste time in my life and achieve something
but anyhow I know the conclusion is settle one thing 1st b4 start another..
so ok.. i'll be good and patient........

god bless me and god bless my health
*i seriously need human charger.. anyone care to invent one?

moody...

2010-12-29T19:42:00.002+08:00

there were a few times when i came in here felt like writing a lot of stuff but i got stuck and then i just log out.
and guess what i'm stuck again..
i can't fully describe how i feel but i just now that i am damn moody
arrgghhhhhhhhhh............ and i hate it! it brings the whole person down...
whole day no mood. fuck
just feel so frustrated. i hate it i hate it i hate it!

A taste of FREEDOM~~~~~

2010-12-10T17:51:00.004+08:00

8th Dec 2010

omg.........
the first day i get out off the house!!! im super happy^^
i feel like a bird release from its cage. although its just a while and just near by but im satisfied with it
cause by the end of the day i myself wanted to go home early as i felt tired easily ==" guess i still need plenty of recharge....

anyhow, evening i went to Jusco Kepong to do some birthday shopping.
this month really need to burn my purse. birthdays + xmas
even im stuck at home but i still end up spending..... im gonna pk soon.. huhuhu...

then night time i went to Desa City Park for cakes^^
surprise im able to eat cakes??? wakaka
well im still restricted from a lot of food but selected cakes i can! weeeehehehehe..
im able to choose only the white ones... my mom told me don't take anything that's black like chocolate or anything with black coloring bla bla bla.... nevermind as long as its cakes!!!!

so so so so i went for a Pecan Butterscotch cake n Banana Cheese cakes~~~~~~~ soooooooooo delicious!!!
yes yes.. i know im greedy ... but forgive..... u dont know how long i have been craving for cakes~~~~
every taste n bite was like heaven to me =)

next is to go for a walk at the park.
at 1st it was still drizzling which was kinda very disappointing cause i really wanted go go for a stroll at the park and enjoy the view.. but after i finish my cakes it stopped raining! just in time. thank god.. =)

just a simple evening but i enjoyed it.

thank you my feizai for bringing me out and pampered me with cakes ^^
love you =)

BORED!!!

2010-12-02T18:06:00.003+08:00

I'm so super bored..................................
I miss going out~~~ huhu
I miss clubbing, yamcha, desserts, hanging out...
I din leave the house for 1 week plus. my biggest record ever!
I wanna go out~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
feel lonely sometimes too

but lucky got these 'fellas' accompany meDoggy from my Feizai

Moomoo from my honey EY
Meowmeow from my Feizai

so many events on dec..... wish i can go to all of them but i cant =(
tak boleh!!!
i must get well soooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnn
i wanna go out on Christmas!

I'm home =)

2010-11-26T21:01:00.003+08:00

there is no place like home

the happy to be out of that shitty place.
i don't have to repeat here how horrible it was cause it already exploded in FB. hehe
just so glad to be home.
now i just have to take good care of myself.
the op seems like stage 1 only
now stage 2 is a tricky part cause so many things i cant do for few months
especially clubbing.. T__________T but i understand its for my own good
i will be good but just tat im really soooooooo bored...... =(

this few days im still having nightmares or bad dreams even when im at home. altho is nt as scary as the ones in hosp which i end up waking up screaming but still, it bothers me.
my mind feels tired and did not get the rest it deserves
but i just try not to think about it

i just gotta be positive now
the op was a success
im lucky to have my family n my feizai who love me so much and took such good care of me
and i have great friends who supported me and cheer me up when i was down
what more could i ask for

so my main goal now is to get good rest and aim to get a better healthy me
gambateh!

Feeling so fly like a G6

2010-11-16T03:11:00.008+08:00

131th Nov 2010
MOS

Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

wow~ MOS this week was more crowed and the music is so much better *thumbs up*
i enjoyed the night so much =)

my honey & my baby =)

whats going on here?

nice~~~~~

she's mine......wakkaka *laughs evilly =p

-Smart vs Casual-
which one better?
i love both.. unique in ur own way~

walau.. jie.. although u might be small size but u r heavy la! haha

cheers to another wonderful night~
i seriously love night life so much =)

omg.. cant imagine few months without it...
wait for me...... i'll be back~~~~~~

Movida nights

2010-11-12T19:42:00.010+08:00

11th Nov 2010

4th Nov 2010

Mentally torture

2010-11-01T15:00:00.005+08:00

28th & 29th Oct 2010.....

one of my most terrible experience ever.. i felt mentally tortured.
it was really scary and i felt so many emotions at once.
i don't even know where to start off

so at 1st i check in, then normal procedures i need to have blood test
and it was oh my fucking god painful!
the nurse cucuk left no blood and she say sorry cucuk senget.. need to cucuk right pulak
omg~~~~ even right side was painful... i honestly cry cause it was the painful blood test i ever had... she was so rough!

ok then never mind.. so all day 28th i have to wait till 29th for my operation...
i had to puasa... and all day my heart just feel so scared and worry..

so till 29th... the day i should operate.. and morning they have to cucuk some needle in my hand to drip water.. ouch! again.. it was so painful till i cry again.. wtf~
till in the afternoon the water finish they need to replace new one.. the water was not dripping.. and they have to adjust and pump the Needle or something. i could not watch but again it was OUCH OUCH OUCH!

so then.. 2pm was near... im sooooooooooooo freaking out and scared.... it was almost time... every time i heard wheels pass by my heart was beating so fast... is it my turn? omg. i was so so nervous that i cant believe i was going to go through it..

but i waited and waited and waited till it was 4pm..... another doc came in told me that they could not do the operation today cause my doc is still handling another complicated case and cant make it today.. and they have to delay 2 weeks later!!! wtf~

ok... at 1st my heart was a bit relieved.. but then i felt so angry, sad and disappointed.
I stayed for 2 days and was mentally torture and it was for nothing!!!

i have to go through all the fucking pain and torture again 2 weeks later! it really fucking sucks!
and the worst it.. when i checked out they still fucking charge me! wtf~~~~~~~~
come on.. i stayed for nothing you still want to charge me. a discount would have been better but no.. they have no fucking system at all.

i get to sleep in my own sweet bed again.. but then i'm still not emotionally stable.. i don't feel comfortable.... felt my body was so tense... and im still so disappointed over the whole incident int the hospital.

then about midnight the scariest thing happened to me.. i had facial nerve disorder.
my eyes and lips are blinking moving smiling by itself... i could not control my own face... it keeps moving with so many expressions and was freaking me out... i felt like i was going insane.. i dont know what's wrong wit me... it scared the hell out of me..
but my mom told me it was due to over stress and trauma cause of the pass 2 days in the hospital.. she told me the next day would be better.
and lucky my Feizai was with me whole night and calm me down...
after few hours my face make less movement and the next morning was really better..

guess i just need to calm myself down...
this few days was really some hell of an experience
till now i still feeling a bit emotional but im okay
better then the 1st few days.

guess i just need to prepare for the next challenge...
after the challenge is over i dont hope to have another any other visit to the hospital...
i might go insane again...

pray hard the next visit just goes smoothly..

Club cant handle me

2010-10-26T15:53:00.007+08:00

23rd Oct 2010
MOS

You know I know how
To make em stop and stare as I zone out
The club can't even handle me right now
Watchin you watchin me I go all out
The club can't even handle me right now (yeahhhhh x3)
The club can't even handle me right now (yeahhhhh x3) -FLO RIDA-

well... i guess this is gonna be my last taste of night life for the moment..
will be taking a long break... but hope will ok soon and join all of you =)

wish me luck
so nervous~~~~~~~~~~

DJ got us fallin in love.........

2010-10-22T00:34:00.006+08:00

14th October 2010
MOVIDA

Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
Yeah, baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again
So dance, dance, like it’s the last, last night of your life, life
Gonna get you right
Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again -USHER-

Dance Dance~

2010-10-09T16:28:00.008+08:00

8th Oct 2010
Zouk

I came to dance dance dance dance
I hit the floor
'Cause that's my plans plans plans plans
::Taio cruz- dynamite::
love this song =)

opps~~~~

McD again..hehe

candid shot =p

cheers~
have a good weekend~

FUCKING PREVERT!!!

2010-10-08T03:43:00.005+08:00

I'm gonna fucking banned BBS MAMAK at Selayang Jaya!!!

Girls who eat here be careful!!

When i came out of toilet a fucking Indian staff pass by me and his fucking hand touch my breast!
wtf! but when i turned around is to late. he enter the toilet and close the door! i could not see his face. i wanted to wait him come out to slap or kick his fucking dick! but the toilet is very in its even more dangerous to stay there so i quickly came out.

my friends are too far from the toilet. by the time i tell my friend it will be to late he's out of the toilet and i dont know his fucking face.. all mamak indian look the same. only 3 of us girls. even if i were to pick a fight they sure help one another as they are so many of them. fuck man!

u fucking pervert and son of a bastrad!!! lan jiao u!!
i'm wearing t shirt not low cut. touch like tat also like? touch like tat also high ah? fuck u man!
brainless dirty mamak indian! ur brain at ur lan jiao ah?
u r worst than dog! u r the fucking dirty dog's shit!!!!!!

curse u hope during u working the gas explode and burn ur fucking lan jiao!!

dear friends~ pls help me pass this message around! busukkan this mamak name!

I'm Legally 21 =)

2010-09-30T18:59:00.015+08:00

wow~
Cant believe it.
I'm 21 already
confirm i have to admit that I'm old. haha
but on the bright side I dont have to worry about IC being checked
I can enter anywhere i want. wakaka

I had an enjoyable birthday this year and i will never forget it.
I want to thank everyone who celebrated with me, thank for for the pressies and thank you for the wishes in fb.
I appreciate it so so much =)

here we go now..
my 21st Birthday..............

24th Sept 2010
De Pastry Chef
~A buffet specially for desserts =)
i totally love it! i ate so many tarts. haha~

thank you so much my dears =)

25th Sept 2010
Maison
~21st would not be complete without a round of liquor, dance floor and awesome music ;)
I had cramps for 3 days due to over dancing. kekeke ~

The birthday girl and the birthday girl
*double birthdays* =)

kiss kiss kiss~

hehe...

birthday kiss for the birthday girls. siok~

"To: Baby Kimi
Wish you all the best
From: Kepong & Cheras Gang"
thank u so much !
but.... too bad we had no chance to eat it. it fell on the floor. =(

make a wish...

group photo!
the girls~~~

and the "leng" Ts~

27th & 28th Sept 2010
Fullhouse & Genting
~one word: Kittilicious... well.... scroll down and you'll see.. heee

***meow meow meow meow***
Hello Kitty cake, presents, wrapper, box, perfume, purse.
omg! love it so much~

thank you so much my feizai. so surprise!
especially the cake. i was so shocked. haha
LOVE IT SO MUCH!!

ding dong! it's 12! time to make a wish and blow the candles...

I'm so sorry Kitty....i had no choice but to eat u... u tasted so good~

Genting tak sejuk langsung... my room is even cooler than Genting without air-cond.
but on the bright side...
I can enter the casino! yeah~~~ wakaka

=))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
once again thank you so much my dears~
love you all. muackz~

September Highlights

2010-09-20T15:46:00.015+08:00

What have i been up to recently?
well.. just enjoying what life has to offer =)

18th Sept 2010
BBQ(Moon cake festival)

yummy~

me love~

16th Sept 2010
Maison

15th Sept 2010

The Library

while waiting for my dear....

11th Sept 2010
Stella's Birthday Party @ PD

so happy laughing like 'sohai'... haha

oops! The Human Sandwich

Cheers to a lovely September!
and there's definitely more to come...... =)

An evening with my jie jie s~

2010-09-09T21:09:00.004+08:00

8th Sept 2010

Went 1U gai gai with my 2 wacky jie jies.. hehe

pandai act cool only

white shades.. so cool!

the siau lang on the right just ignore her only lah... haha

mirror mirror on the wall... who's the fairest of them all? hee...

yeee.... miss hanging out with both of u lah...

My tired but awesome weekend...

2010-08-23T14:25:00.020+08:00

21 Aug 2010

Celebrated CiLi's Birthday at Maison..
ya i know i mention i dont want go back there..
but.. haha.. say only oh.. we all fell in love with the place d~
anyways .....

Happy Birthday to u CiLi!
wish u blissful always~

my dearest friend & baby =p
my darlings~

my dearest kor kor & didi

muackz muackz!
i love kisses~

The Kepong & Cheras Gang. yeah~~~

the leng zais

and the leng luis

22nd Aug 2010

i only slept an hour. wow!
next day is my beloved mama's convocation need to wake up early~

Happy Graduation my dear mama.. i love u so much!
all the best in life~

muackz~ congratulation kiss just for u.
aiyer... look at ur happy happy face. hehe

ceh ceh! this monkey act cute

After the whole thing was over we were super hungry!
so Monkey and I headed to De Pastry Chef for yamcha with our high school buddies.

yeah desserts~~~

Mama don't jealous oh.. next time bring u go ya... wakaka!

what a weekend
super tired and my feet hurts! wuwuwu
gonna hibernate for now. hehe
bye~

one word that's been drowning me recently...

2010-08-19T22:28:00.005+08:00

disappointment...

ya.. that's the word.
hate this feeling.
just want to wash this feeling away
it kills my mood...

i do admit.. i have a weak heart
until now i'm still fighting and pushing myself to be a stronger person

haiz...
can't wait for this weekend...
just wanna enjoy to the max with nothing to bother me in my head..

i can do it.

weekend here i come. just few days away..

One of those times...

2010-08-17T02:04:00.009+08:00

it's been a long time since i actually type out my feelings
i remember this blogs used to fill up with words
guess i'm not so good at expressing out words like i used to
i think i rather show it out by voice or temper
its not a good thing but i cant control it at times

but anyhow.. i'm here now and i do feel like typing out in someway
where do i start?
i dont even know.. as always im gonna be very random and just go with my thoughts

what's up wit me recently?
i dont even know myself
i feel so lost...
i feel like nothing when there is something
but i cant point out or say out
i just cant seem to put a finger on what's the problem

i just know everything is not going according to plan
and i believe is driving me nuts
cause there is no security of whats gonna happen next
always have to go with the flow
i wonder can i change things or take a step
but often looks like i got no choice for the moment
i just need to be patient with whatever i need to go through
or maybe i dare not make a decision cause im not brave enough to do so
im afraid of making a big mistake

i feel like I'm wasting time
and when other things happen
it seem like i try to distract myself to it
end up i worry more of other things that i dont have to worry about
or am i just giving myself an excuse when there is something with the problem
omg..total blur case here
i start to wonder what am i specifically talking about
im just blabbing all the way jumble up with everything

feel like i should stop now
but i cant
my fingers wanna type more
but what do i want to say
what is the point of typing this
what the heck am i doing with my life
what do i want from all this

or big question is what am i gonna do now
just be patient n patient
but certain things cant be patient
and there are things i dont know what do i want to do
just feel like inhale and exhale all out...just let go...
let go of the things take are sucking me away
i dont know who i am now
i am not sure what i want now
sometimes i feel i do
but then again i am not sure

i want to sleep and have endless sweet dreams
but recently all i had are nightmares that wakes me up

i need directions
i need roads
but i cant find them
or maybe i dont know which road should i go

i'm back to square one.....

Another nite at Maison...

2010-08-08T11:57:00.007+08:00

before heading out~

wow... we are early and it's still empty... waited for an hour for the rest to arrive.
who say must reach early ah??????? u see u see... end up wait u all!

and here we go pictures in da club~

at mamak... i look like auntie!

today morning wake up my eyes bengkak again lah!
wtf... my eyes sensitive to the smoke spray out from the club..
2nd time di! i'm anti maison d! but listen 1st ah... haiz...

6th 7th 8th sense?

2010-08-06T19:52:00.004+08:00

I came across a quote that jot down some time ago and decided to post it on my facebook wall

"Love is the seventh sense that destroys all the other sixth sense"

so then Mr Chee Leek commented :
and Lust is the eight sense that destroys all the other sixth sense and love..

haha... gotta hand it to u. it's good one!

it's just a very random post for some sense of humor.. haha.. which i do find it funny..
forgive me i'm just too bored............

Ladies Nite @ Maison

2010-07-26T16:09:00.006+08:00

24th July 2010

gosh.... I'm getting old.. seriously~ haha
can't club like how i used to... huhu
my legs are killing me for 2 days until i have to walk like an old lady
& my eyes look like as if they were beaten.

but one thing for sure i did enjoy the nite =)

Time

2010-07-21T01:45:00.003+08:00

im feeling down and emo again......
hate it...

every time everything seem so good but next thing you know it
everything seem so down

i know is the life process we have to have our ups and downs... but i feel fed up and tired

gosh.... just wish i can turn back time... i really hope i can go back and do things differently
then maybe things would be so hard now

just wanna scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Opera Night

2010-07-13T12:13:00.009+08:00

Bloggie~
I have abandon u for some time..
a few delays post cause i still haven't get the pixies...
and it's been a tired and crazy week i had but enjoyed it so much=)
anyhow will update the latest pix 1st cause i have it now~ hehehe

10th July 2010
Happy Birthday to my baby Fynz Lim!
love you much... wish you full of blissfulness my dearest friend~

enjoyed the nite =)

hugs n kisses just for you XOXO

my sweetie & I

The Ice-cream Man

2010-06-17T23:00:00.004+08:00

I remember u!

my mom got off from the car to get something from pharmacy
so while i was in the car waiting for my dear mummy
the ice cream man with his motor bike full of ice creams pass by..
when i saw him amazingly i instantly remember him..

i used to buy ice creams from him during primary school from standard 4 till standard 6.
every time after school while waiting for auntie van to pick me up i never fail to buy an ice cream from him.. sometime if auntie van is late i even buy 2 a day! ( ya most of you know im a crazy dessert lover and i love ice creams a lot!)

he always have a nice and warm friendly smile asking which one you want today...

wow...after so long... till now.. he is still doing the same thing for a living..
his look never change after so long but his face had more wrinkles...
it must be tired to drive a motor here and dere baring under the hot sun...
but i believe he brings a lot of smiles to kids...
i'm always happy to see him outside of school cause i know i can get my ice cream =)

maybe selling ice cream for years like this may be hard but i believe he enjoy making children smile.. maybe i was young and naive during that time but i still believe his friendliness was real..

he used to remember me well cause i had those blinky happy eyes look for ice cream
now surely he wont remember me if i approach him for an ice cream
but its ok.. cause i still rmbr u clearly... the ice cream man who brought smiles to my face
if there is a chance i will surely buy an ice cream from him again...

cause till now my love for ice creams never change. i'm still the tat little girl who loves ice cream =)

-Hug Hug-

2010-06-12T14:43:00.005+08:00

11th June 2010

I promise to give my darling a big hug hug which i did~ keke

just our usual chatter and "quality" time 2geda~

and our fav photo session ...

smile~

and the football fever just started! go go go!

wow.... why the serious face...

i love this photo so much but not as much as i love u darling! xoxo

oh no~ after that we headed to MCD and omg..... i had a double cheese burger. super fat!

but u can see it in her face.. MCD is just too irresistible.. u just got to have it!

have a good weekend people~

Emotional, me?

2010-06-11T16:17:00.003+08:00

ya maybe...

quite obvious i think...
cant hide everything but I'm not really hiding.. sometimes just don't know how to fully express it out
or i'm too tired to do so.

but it's ok... cause i know there will always be a open door or at least a window for me...
i just need to know where to find it.
the journey is always tired and never easy
i'm human as well
i get really weak and tired at times
i just want to rest and recharge
i know i will stand again
but for now... i'm really tired..
just want to rest peacefully...

i know no matter what, time will always slowly heal all..
and i do feel so..no doubt i do feel better day by day...
so ya... good luck to me~

Beer Beer

2010-06-08T10:02:00.007+08:00

7th June 2010

In facebook wall~

Ah Sam: how about to9??
Me: yaya... 2nite pergi mana yamcha?
Ah Sam: drink beer lo... still yamcha...

haha... okok.. so here we go......

the brothers~

group picture

aiyer aiyer.. so sweet nya........

i'm like a sandwich stuck between you both

acting all sorrow and sad....

drink drank drunk... no no... acting only

cheers people~

Weekend outing =)

2010-06-08T09:31:00.007+08:00

6th June 2010

yeah yeah yeah... a very random meet up but never fail to have fun and smiles~

Kevin & Benny

whats whit the face?

trying to act all rough and tough huh?

not ours! we just promoting it only =p

my buddy and " lesbian partner" li wern... wakaka.. sorry kevin.. she's mine =p

OMG~ ju on....... damn freaky man!

another classical picture in the toilet... its a trend~

i still can fit into Barbie sunglasses^^

Mr benny hunting for a suitable barbie doll fro himself... awww... how cute is that?

Kevin: I found it! i wanted this barbie for such a long time... can i have it?

and we shall hang again soon......

*waiting for our dessert time buddy

I hate being sick!

2010-06-05T23:39:00.002+08:00

i am now anti steamboat/bbq buffet!

i had it 2 days in a row and few more days had it once
no more... no more... phobia di.. huhu

now having cough, flu, soar throat and fever coming soon......

i hate it!
cause i cant go anywhere & cant have any desserts..........
i miss having ice-cream~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=(

feel like having ice cream so badly.. haiz.........

Class Gathering + Clubbing

2010-05-29T12:58:00.012+08:00

27th May 2010

SMK St.Mary, 5A1 of 2006 Class Gathering
Venue: Le Classic Cafe

Only 11 people arrive but we had lots of fun taking pictures =)
Practically turning the cafe upside down and making tons of noises. haha
True St. Marians! or should I say truly 5A1 members, one of the nosiest class in school! bravo =p

hope next time we can get more to arrive and totally bring down the whole building. yeah~

After gathering some of us hit the club!! woot woot~what an enjoyable night it was~ cheers!

Need You Now

2010-05-24T18:58:00.005+08:00

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

-Lady Antebellum-